Blackout. Are They Testing For A New Assault?
Place: The balcony of my bedroom.
Time: August, 10, 2011. 3:00 am (Suhoor).
Surrounding environment: A nice breeze, a starry sky, and the noise of neighbouring power generators + Israeli drones.
The characters: Myself, my mind, and Israeli drones.
The mood: Concern and agitation
The props: A mattress, a fluffy pillow, my blue bear, a laptop, a cell phone, a chocolate bar, and a bottle of water.
As I, trying to put my mind to sleep, contemplate the troubling beauty of the lights of not just the stars but also the Israeli warplanes in my sky, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Cast Lead II?
It has been pretty quiet on the whole since this blackout started. I often fear quiet under such circumstances, but the company of my family and the TV screen that I cursed just the other day kept my mind off of things.
It really did not seem to be a big deal at the beginning when I tried to come back on twitter and the connection failed after I had finished my iftar. It happens more often than not due to the random power cuts that causes disruption and messes up the settings of my router. I picked up my phone to text someone only to find that there was no cell phone signal, either! My mom’s phone happened to be on the table in front of me, so I attempted to use hers, though there was no signal whatsoever on that one, too. A couple of hours passed with my mind itching until we all felt that something was not right. We contacted our relatives using the landline, and it turned out the whole strip was experiencing the same thing.
Oblivious to the fact that Israeli bulldozers have destroyed telecommunication fiber cables, I decided to wait until the telecommunication problem was solved and the internet was back. It is 3:00 am now, and the fear has gotten the better of me. I am typing this in order to busy my mind as I am finding the whole situation quite aberrant. The Israeli drones are buzzing in my head and forcing me to ponder. Perhaps I should crack the window above my head open, a Gazan ritual when anticipating Israeli warplane attacks, in case they decided to strike. Or perhaps I should go inside and sleep in my bedroom and endure the heat inside for the night, until I know what is happening. Why are they doing this? Wjy now? Is it because the PA is going ahead with the UN recognition bid? After all Israel did threaten to take unilateral steps of their own! Is it a test for future plans? A plan of sufficient isolation of Gaza from the world during some sort of a new Israeli ‘operation’? Is it because of us, bloggers and tweeters? Is Israel afraid? Do we pose that much of a threat to Israel’s security? Am I supposed to be afraid? They can bombard and bring my whole neighbourhood down to the ground and we will not even be able to report what is happening to the ones left with some passion and brains in this world. Am I under Israeli eyes, along with my tweeps and blogger friends? Are they tracking our IP addresses? We are no politicians, but I do know for a fact that our voices pose a threat to Israel’s propaganda and continuous lies. Am I a terrorist in Israel’s eyes? I have never seen a grad rocket let alone fired one, but I guess my tweets and blog posts are all that it takes for Israel to deem me one. Heck, not even that. I am Palestinian and Arab, that is all it really takes. I use Palinoia as my nickname, inspired from the word paranoia; ironically enough, I feel quiet paranoid myself at the moment.
I will eat this chocolate bar, that way if something happens, at least I’d die a happy girl with a sweet something in my tummy. I will turn off the laptop and crawl under the blanket, and I hope I wake up to something serene.
Good night, far far away world.
I just read this written by a dear tweep (Vicky) when we all disappeared all of a sudden. It makes me smile. Thank you, habibti 🙂 you are one of those left with some passion and conciseness in this world.
A quick note to those who still claim that Gaza isn’t occupied by ‘Israel’ (considering the withdrawal of 2005), you can add this black out to my previous responses to that.